剛剛讀完鄭秀文十年前出版的《值得》，書中收錄她的專欄文章，亦憶述她戰勝抑鬱症的過程。
讀過這本書才知道她的文學啟蒙是歌德《少年維特的煩惱》。她說讀過歌德就從此陷入了文學世界，常常讀書讀得廢寢忘餐、通宵達旦。熟悉鄭秀文的歌迷也許知道，她曾經沉澱兩年，這本書亦有提及。她透過文章探討自己以往不斷追求完美的過程導致自己抑鬱，以及其後如何自己寫專欄、讀書、信教而讓自己走出情緒困擾。
她的方法其實很好，因為讀書是一個讓自己內心沉澱、安靜下來的最佳辦法，祇懂得往外索求安穩，通常落得更慌張的下場。除了寫日記、寫文章，學她這般拿起畫筆表達一些超乎言語的意念，當然是情緒很好的出口。
我最近讀美國出版的精神科書籍祇懂得從病理的角度分析精神困擾，我讀書讀得入迷卻忘了親身經歷過的人也有其他實用的方法。帶我走出見樹不見林的視野，就是靠她的文字。鄭秀文，謝謝妳。
I have just finished reading Hong Kong artist Sammi Cheng’s Well-deserved, a book collating her column articles and narration of her experience overcoming depression.
From this book of hers published ten years ago, I learned that Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s The Sorrows of Young Werther was her introductory book to literature. Thanks to Goethe’s work, she started reading ferociously, literally turning eating and sleeping time upside down – in her words, for the love of literature.
The book also mentioned about her two-year hiatus from showbiz – something which her fans might know. Her articles disclosed that she used to be pursuing perfection before putting herself too much to the edge of depression. Thankfully, through reading and writing, as well as her faith, she was able to recover.
Hers was – and still is – a good method, for reading is the best way for you to make peace with yourself and let your heart calm down. You usually end up being caught in deeper anxiety, if you look for inner peace from outside. In addition to keeping a diary and writing essays, it definitely is a good idea if you draw and paint like Sammi does, for it is another way to express feelings beyond words.
From my recent reading of books on psychiatry published in the United States, I have been focusing and analyzing mental illness from the perspective of psychopathology. I indulged so much in the reading and little did I know, that there are some other methods for one to get out of mental stress.
Before this, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees; it is her writing that gave me a bigger picture. Thank you Sammi.
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